Learning to Let Go, One Thread at a Time

When the net is tightly knit, even small things will get caught.

One evening, I joined one of our online meditation sessions. As usual, before we began, we were casually talking about the mind. That day, the topic was the judging mind—how we judge people and situations, often without even noticing it.

We talked about how, in the end, it’s not the person we judge who suffers the most. It’s us. The judging mind creates noise inside our head, not theirs. That constant evaluation, comparison, and inner commentary—this is what exhausts us.

The tighter the net, the less we see

So I used the analogy of a net to explain meditation.

When a net is tightly knit, even the smallest things get caught.

In the same way, when our mind is full of rigid standards—people should behave this way, work should be done that way—nothing passes through easily. Wherever we look, something gets stuck in our mind.

And when everything gets caught, peace of mind is impossible.

Meditation, then, is like slowly pulling out the threads of that net, one by one.

As the net loosens, smaller things begin to pass through. When we start letting go of our own standards—most of which come from a very self-centered perspective—life begins to flow more smoothly. And when the net finally disappears, we can see things as they are, without getting trapped in the judging mind.

That doesn’t mean we become dull or lose the ability to see right and wrong. Quite the opposite. The mind becomes clearer and sharper, yet flexible. You can see what’s best in a given situation without being caught in your own thoughts.

Once, I heard someone say,

Judgment is an attachment that wants to prove you are right.

When I heard that, I thought, Wow. That’s so true.

Meditation class

Meditation in Blue Mountains

Sydney Meditation

If you really look closely at the judging mind, underneath it are thoughts like:

I am right. I know better. Let me tell you how it should be.

It’s the attachment that wants to prove, I’m right.

The moment I realized judgment is an attachment, my mind reacted immediately:

Oops… better let go of that.

Over the weekend, I had lunch with a friend, and he said something that stayed with me.

“I get easily swept away by the atmosphere when I’m with others,” he said, “but you seem to have an anchor. You stay calm no matter what the situation is.”

I was genuinely happy to hear that—and I know it’s all thanks to meditation. I honestly can’t imagine where I would be now if I hadn’t learned how to let go.

As I write this, I feel grateful all over again. Looking back on my life, meeting meditation truly feels like a gift. In Korean, we say 신의 한 수(shin eui han su)—a masterstroke, a game changer.

That’s why I keep sharing and writing posts like this. In the hope that someone who’s struggling with a noisy mind might come across these words—and that this, too, could become their 신의 한 수.

I’ll finish this post with an old photo of myself that popped up on Facebook today.

Thank you.